Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Bi-curious? Get Bisexual

If the road to hell is paved with nubile bisexual girls, then I’m on it.

This Friday I shall be having dinner with 3 girls of the aforementioned persuasion, all recommended by various sources and screened by yours truly. This means that not just do these girls possess a quotient of physical attractiveness, more importantly they have demonstrated the actual aptitude and enthusiasm required to nibble nipples and eat pussy. All references have been double-checked.

A few men have been invited – really just to pay for dinner, perform the requisite gleeful rubbing together of the hands and provide the possibility of cock, if so required. But all other spectator tickets have been sold out.

One of the girls is a really good friend of mine celebrating her birthday (and what better way to celebrate, really) and the rest of the dinner participants are partners, or friends-of-friends, or ex-shags, or first cousins that I will be meeting for the first time. I’m joking about the first cousins, but you get the drift – everyone at dinner is connected by at least 2 degrees of DNA.

I made the decision to pull this party together because firstly, I thought it’d be a lot of fun to see what trouble a bunch of attractive, open-minded bisexual girls could get up to in a party setting. I’m not expecting a full-blown orgy or anything like that, but I’d be happy to see some gentle pawing and sexual friction.

At least for the first course.

Secondly, I am so so tired of meeting these sexy bi-curious women who work me up to a fever-pitch in a club and then balk at coming home to seal the deal i.e. eat my pussy whilst my man watches (and participates, but only if you want him to).

I mean seriously girls, to be a cocktease is one thing – but being a pussy-tease is like letting the side down, its betrayal. And may the heels of your Manolo Blahniks fall off.

Yes Dinh or whatever your name is, Ms Seductress I met in Saigon, I’m talking about you. I would like to submit for consideration that when you put your foot under my skirt and pulse it against my bare, wet pussy in time with the music, a girl like me gets the wrong idea. But in my defence, those semi-orgasmic squeals of pleasure you make as you grind your crotch into mine do not help matters one bit.

You broke my heart Missy. And I’m dedicating Friday’s dinner party to you and your kind. Because I know that you’d be a full-blown bisexual if you would just help me help you. I used to be like that too. And I can tell you wholeheartedly, life away from the straight and narrow is so much more fun. Really. You will never look back. I promise.

Don’t make me beg.

Sighs. These would-be / could-be / should-be bisexual girls have been the bane of my life of late. They seem to be everywhere, tapping their feet against my pussy and taunting me to pop their bi-curious cherries with my tongue. Or fingers. Or the six-inch strap-on I have in my closet (but I digress).

It must be because the whole idea of bisexuality has never been more fashionable. After all, if Madonna, Britney and Christina – the role models for the Y generation – are simulating it on MTV, then surely it must be cool. Like Pilates. Or dreadlocks. Or finding yourself an obscure mystic religion.

In a recent survey in the U.S., up to 63% of women admitted to wanting to sexually experiment with other women. I don’t know what the statistics are in Asia, but if the number of adolescent girls who developed crushes on Mrs Chan back in convent school are anything to go by, then I’d say that that we’re pretty up there.

However, the propensity to dabble doesn’t make a girl bisexual, just bi-curious. The difference between which – six drinks, as they say – is really quite slippery.

If I had to take a stab at defining the terms, I would say that being bisexual is an orientation, behaviour as well as a means of self-identification, whilst being bi-curious usually fulfills only one or two of the criteria. To illustrate - bi-curious women could be attracted to women (orientation), take a muff-dive off one in a club or swimming pool (behaviour), but still go home with their boyfriends at the end of the night (self-identify as straight).

Here’s another way to think about it. Bi-curious women are could-be bisexuals. They could easily also decide, after a stint of experimentation with other women, that they are rather-be heterosexuals. And it’s that ambiguity, that idea that 'I’m still exploring' which lends itself to the term bi-curious.

I know firsthand that despite the diminished risk of social censure, there are many things that hold back a bi-curious female from becoming an active, actualised bisexual. I myself might never have traversed the sexuality spectrum had I not had the rightful impetus.

However, I realise now that there are plenty of benefits to being a full-fledged, bisexual, besides doubling your chances of a date on a Friday night. To start with, girls are nice to have in bed. They smell nice, they look great, they’re less hairy – and they never cum too quickly.

Being bisexual is also one of the best things you can do for your sex life, and oh I suppose your partner too. Possibilities for threesomes, foursomes and more-somes abound. Checking out girls with my man and saying “ooh, I could so fuck her” has now become one of my favourite ways to spend an evening. Competing with him in terms of who makes first contact comes a close second.

Ironically enough, being bisexual also makes it a breeze to get the attention of the opposite sex. Just get on the dancefloor, find some other girl to make out with and voila, instant lust from the rest of the room. This works if you’re bi-curious as well, I suppose. But take my earlier anecdote as a cautionary tale if you will, nobody likes a pussy-tease.

So if you’re considering it girls, my advice – do it right and do it now. Find someone who knows what they’re doing. A hot couple preferably, that way you have the option of straight sex to fall back on. And put your heart into it – not just your foot. You might just love it, like me.

And if you don’t, you’ll find that girls are the gentlest, un-pushiest creatures when it comes to dealing another girl’s sexuality. Tell them you’re not comfortable with something and they’re more than happy to lend you one of their sex toys or give you a little tub of Haagen-Dazs whilst you watch them finish up with the guy they’re with. They'll just have a little rant on their blog and organize a sexy party with 3 other fully-fledged bisexual girls to make up for it later.

I would anyway.